Not living in our own home seems to create behaviors in us that were not there before.

I, for example, did not walk around saying, “I hate this house.” My spouse did not mutter so much as he did when he did the dishes in our more efficient kitchen and Sophie the dog did not make a lot of the noises she makes in this house. I think that each of us has a way of coping that is about not-space since our space it too strange to deal with and keep our wits about us.

I have been so hands-on with the new house, our house-to-be, it is beginning to take shape and form in my mind as if it is already real. My beloved wailed politely that he just wanted plans he could stand in line at the county offices to request a building permit. I have new door knobs. My house can be held in my hand and his is not yet on paper.

It is not that my spouse does not have a direct involvement or understanding of the house as it is so far on the paper. But it does not inhabit his desk like it does mine. He does not have under his desk baskets for wood flooring samples, vinyl floor samples and one for natural stone too.

At this point the house-to-be is different for each of us. It is not enough for any of us. Building houses in six months is pushing it. That puts us to the end of August, if we move quickly and can start soon.

If the house magically appeared tomorrow it would not be too soon. We feel like Sophie with her magical dog thinking. “I know how to sit, stay, roll over, shake if I do all of these in a row, one of them is likely to yield that house.”