Most of the time it is easy for me to think of what I want to write in this blog. Even when I missed those months in the late summer through the fall, I could think of things to write I just did not have the wherewithal to write them. Not all, but a lot of that wherewithal went to being sick.
Today I lost my wherewithal and missed having tea with friends. This tea party was not a trivial “lets get together and have tea,” but a tea we had talked about doing for months. Our friends split their residence between California and here in Montana. Since last summer we have been planning to have tea when they came back to Montana. Today was the day for tea and I was sick.
I tried not to be sick. I have been sick for the better part of a week and this morning I finally felt good when we finalized our plans for this afternoon. I got to puttering on things that had to be done and by noon I was feeling sketchy. I thought, “maybe if I eat some lunch I will feel better. My blood sugar must be down.” I am sure it was down but I did not feel better. I stayed busy with simple tasks that did not require much from me so I have the energy to go. I set three alarms on my phone so I would be more than ready to go.
As time approached to get ready to go, I felt less and less wherewithal to make it. My spouse came home from errands in town and took one look at me and said, “Are you sure you can do this?” I said I was not sure. We let a little time pass. We talked about it. We let a little more time pass and I said, “Help me. I want to go so bad. Do you think I can?” He said, “You look pretty bad.” I went and dejectedly laid on the couch while he called our friends and said we could not make it. I just did not have the wherewithal to go. As it turned out I was so sick I ended up sleeping most of the afternoon and evening.
I will have the wherewithal soon. I am sure of it. If we have had the wherewithal for the fire and for building this house of ours, surely I can do a cup of tea. Soon I will feel better and have the wherewithal for tea with our friends at their house. Our house is growing, moving toward being finished. In the spring, we will have the wherewithal to host the tea party at our house.